Blank Slate

How shal I write something when my mind is blank? I'm finishing the end of my second cup of coffee. The news is on tv in the other room now that I'm back to one working tv. I have digested my breakfast of a quesadilla with cheese, sliced tomatoes and fresh basil from my garden. I am still in my nightgown and it is almost 1:00. I must be dressed before the news ends so that will give me a reason to take a break if I can't think of anything to write about today.

When I'm not writing I have all these things to write and if I don't make a list of them as I think of them, then when I sit down to write, I can't think of a thing. They just announced that Oprah will be discussing teen sex on her show today. I think that I'll skip that one as will as the Tyra Show, Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray.

My main activity the last few days has been to read some books I picked up at the bookstore (the one that moved from Virginia Highlands to across from Manual's). So now I am reading four books at the same time. For now though, all my energy is focused on "The Death and Letters of Alice James." I decided to read this after reading a while in "The Writings of William James." There were a number of references to his youngest sibling Alice. I'm also reading Stanislavski's "An Actor Prepares." I do believe it is a good book for any artist to read--actor, painter, writer and so on.

Alice is an interesting character. Her entire life purpose is dying. She becomes and invalid, more or less. So far it has just casually mentioned she has breast cancer. Back then I guess they knew very little about it. Against my better judgement I read the entire introduction of 50 pages by the editor that included some excerpt from her letters. I have now begun the letters. She is quite articulate about the era in which she lived where women either were wives or spinsters. So she's opted to be an invalid which indeed is a powerful metaphor for women of her day.

It sounds like it would be a depressing novel, but she is so witty. For instance, her aunt dies and leaves all her things to her, but with the stipulation that when she dies certain things go to certain people. Since she doesn't like the control of being told what to do with her things even though she might choose to do the same, she turns down the inheritance. Instead she asked William to accept the inheritance and give it to her so she can then give it to who she wants which will probably be him. She is especially wants the shawl as he won't need it anyway.

What a crazy family, even if it is the family of William and Henry James. The Death of Alice would make a very metaphysical play as she explores what it means to die for her whole life. I guess I shouldn't say much more since I am only on page 59. So far I have learned that she calls her brother "Will",and that when she told her father at a younger age she wanted to commit suicide, he gave her permission, but to be sure it wasn't accidental as from drugs or alcohol. That if that's what she chose to do with her life, he wouldn't stand in her way. After that, she abandoned that plan,and instead planned for her natural death. This sounds like a made up story, sort of theatre of the absurd, but it is all documented in her letters.

Now back to page 59, getting dressed or Tyra Banks. That's right, it's getting dressed, read a few minutes and go to the gym.